ReJesus :: Penetrating Conversations - Welcome?

This post is in response to a group learning activity that we had during out Neighborhood Gathering on April 26. I said I would post responses to the penetrating questions we used here so you could know what I think. There are five questions and I will create a new post for each question.

4. I came here because I heard your church was a friendly place, but other than someone saying “Hi” to me at the door, no one has said a word to me yet this morning. What’s up with that?

If you have been to UCF for more than six months and you call UCF “your church.” You need to wake up to what is going on around you on Sunday mornings. You are UCF. You may not feel like an insider, but to a new person walking in the door you are an insider, you are UCF. The new person walking in our church doesn’t know if you have been there 6 months or 6 years. They draw conclusions about whether or not we are a friendly church based on how you engage and respond to them. It is vital that you take this on as your responsibility.

We can plan to have greeters and welcomers etc, but let’s face it, when you walk by a greeter, you know they are supposed to be there “doing their job.” And while this job is important, it is more important that a person feels like everyone is welcoming, not just the people we picked to do the job. To be honest with you, most of the churches around have an elaborate system of greeting people – parking lot greeters, front door greeters, greeters here, greeters there, greeters everywhere. I have been to some of these places and you get the sense that these people aren’t really friendly, it is just what they are supposed to do, so they do it. It’s kind of like being greeted by the Walmart greeter – they don’t really care about you – they say hi and give your kid a sticker because it is their job! However I have been to a few places where the greeters at the door were just the tip in the iceburg – you walked in to a completely authentic welcoming community. You felt it because it was from everyone.

Bottom line on this one is that you are not a welcoming person because you are too self-focused. My professor Howard Hendricks once told me, “the reason you don’t remember someone’s name is that you are too worried about them remembering yours.” It’s true, the reason we aren’t welcoming, is because we would rather just show up and talk to who we want to talk to. It is most comfortable to talk with people in your small group or your close friends, but loving others as you love yourself requires you to have an others first mindset.

General rule #1 – if you can usually talk to a group of people during the week, don’t waste the precious time 10 minutes before and after each service talking to the same people. People in my family room (small group) pretty much know that I don’t talk with them much on Sunday morning, I can talk to them through the week and on Wednesday nights when we are getting together. With a new person I have one chance to express love to them by putting them first.

General Rule #2 – We need to implement the 10 minute rule. For the first 10 minutes after each service, you are not allowed to talk to anyone you already know. Build some new friendships. Take some risks.

If you didn’t realize it we are growing. We have new people and new families coming in the doors every single week. Some of these people are giving church “one more chance” after being out of church for years. You are UCF, what will you do? And what will the new families feel because of it?